March 20, 2022

How to Be More Decisive- 7 Ways To Stop Second-Guessing Yourself!

women shoulders down sitting at a desk holding a pencil over a open notebook

Hello everyone!

Today we are talking about how to be more decisive and ways to stop second-guessing yourself! As with general overthinking, being indecisive may seem like a harmless trait to have but can be a tiring and draining way to live life. A lot of indecisiveness can be traced back to a lack of confidence and a lack of self-knowledge intertwined with perfectionism. Learning how to be a confident and decisive person will only change your life for the better! Self-doubt and second-guessing yourself will never produce a peaceful and self-assured life that everyone should have! Adopting this new way of life may seem like an arduous process but with these 7 tips second-guessing yourself will become a past thought in your mind.

So let’s get into it!

1. Unlearn Perfectionism 

This is the first and most important step in becoming a decisive person! But first, what exactly is perfectionism? “Perfectionism is the refusal to accept any standard short of perfection” and perfection is “the condition, state, or quality of being free or as free as possible from all flaws or defects” (Oxford Languages).

Perfectionism will never bring about a perfect life or allow you to rise above criticism. A lot of people hold on to being a perfectionist because it allows them to feel in control but long enough, perfectionism can drive you to the inability to make decisions because you don’t want to take responsibility for an imperfect outcome. Uncertainty in life is non-negotiable and perfection is impossible so we must forgo the “feeling” of control (or no control) and realize that we are responsible for the preparation, the effort, and the execution but not for the results and outcome.

2. Create a Decision-Making Process

Setting goals and creating your own decision-making process is an amazing way to streamline your difficult decisions! 

First, you must set SMART goals to guide your decisions. If you don’t know what you want, how can you be expected to be decisive? 

As I’ve described in numerous other posts, 

“Make sure your goals are SMART. This is an acronym for specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and timely (time-based). Specific goals are narrowed down to a singular action or plan. Measurable goals can provide evidence of their success. Attainable goals are realistic to your situation and your abilities. Relevant goals are aligned with the area in your life you desire to change and contribute to life-long or long-term goals. Timely goals have an attainable and realistic end date. When writing specific goals, try to ensure you encompass all the aspects of SMART goals to increase your chances of success!”.

After creating your SMART goals it’s now time to create a decision-making process. Whether it’s a simple pros and cons list with a certain number of points or an 8-step decision-making model- choose what works for you! Remember to be true to your process, don’t go through the motions and end up with no decision (and remember that no decision is still a decision). Be honest and as rigorous as you must with your process and decisive when it comes time to make a decision. Your SMART goals should help you feel more comfortable with your decision aligning with your goals and desired results.

3. Small Decisions

Small decisions are just what they are- SMALL DECISIONS. Picking what flavour of ice cream you want, what colour nail polish, and other small matters alike need to be kept under 5 minutes minimum. If it’s not going to affect your life for more than a couple of months, you definitely should not spend more than a couple of minutes on a decision.

4. Use Visualization

Use the power of visualization to help guide your decisions. When you have a difficult decision, it’s good to try to imagine yourself living out that version of your life. Can you visualize it in your head? Do you feel at peace in this reality? Or do you feel unsure and can’t imagine yourself in that position? 

If you do not have a strong imagination in general, this tip may not be for you but if you do- this is a great way to try to gaze into your future. Be sure to make the distinction between not seeing yourself doing something because it’s not for you or not being able to see yourself doing something because you lack confidence.

5. Know Yourself

Knowing yourself is crucial in everything that you do in life. Although not a short-term solution, indulging in different experiences, stepping outside your comfort zone, and being spontaneous are great ways to truly know who you are as a person including what you want in life, your likes, and your dislikes. 

6. Build Your Confidence

Build confidence in yourself! As seen in our post about overthinking,

“Self-confidence is key! People with solid self-esteem and self-confidence do not experience overthinking because they are self-assured and know their capabilities. Once you learn your true potential and abilities, overthinking things will seem like a waste of time! Having more experience in life and discovering your nature will help you be more comfortable with the future and uncertain outcomes.”

7. Journaling

Writing out your thoughts and feelings about a situation can help you develop a decisive opinion on things. Putting some pen to paper can be very therapeutic! Journaling has been proven to improve well-being, reduce stress, increase confidence, and much more. In addition to its sentiment value, journaling can also boost your creativity, put new perspectives on situations, and be a way to release your emotions. 

Audacia has a great Manifestation, Meditation, and Mindfulness Journal and a stylish Aesthetic Notebook that is great for daily journaling, creative writing, mindfulness, meditation, manifestation, and emotional release! Check them out today!

Are you a decisive person? When is the last time you had a hard decision to make? Let us know in the comments below!

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